Sequel to "Who Needs Rehab"...
It's been 5 months since "M" entered rehab. It's no stretch to say she is a different person. The addictions of her past are now a distant memory, or so it would seem. Yet every day her old mistakes impact her daily life. Her schedule is rigid, choices are limited, and freedoms few. But it's better than the alternative of serving her sentence in Cobb County jail.
Earning a holiday pass is a big deal. It's not a right, it's a privilege, one "M" looked forward to for months. But where would she go for Christmas? With her dad 5 hours away and her mom a bi-polar alcoholic, what options did she have? The decision was clear. She would come with me.
The window was small, only 48 hours. Though I had never had a friend in rehab over for Christmas, how hard could it be? It would be great. I would do my best to make it special and made sure the rest of the family was on board.
Our time together would begin promptly at 6:30pm, December 23rd. Thankfully, I had my friend and ministry partner, Cindy, traveling with me. Her love for "M" is just as deep as mine.
The rain was pouring as we set out in the dark. "Lord, please protect us. Give us a beautiful time with "M". Don't let us do or say anything that would hurt her. Let this be a great Christmas for her." The raging storm and lightening made our one hour trip extra long. In retrospect, we should have seen that storm as a foreshadowing of what was to come...
The rehab house was crazy with activity and families crowding in the tiny space to pick up their loved ones. One of the girls handed me a sheet of paper and asked me to sign. I looked at it over and over, trying to read and take it in, but that proved to be impossible. Four girls were doing an exercise routine in the small den, 2 girls I knew were in the kitchen just finishing their cooking duties and we had already started a conversation about why they were not able to leave for Christmas. They were sad so Cindy and I tried to comfort and encourage them.
Suddenly, "M" popped inside. "I'm ready Ms Kim!" I looked back at my paper, scratched my name on the required line, handed it back to the girl, and we loaded the car in the pouring rain. Soaked to the bone."M", was still non-stop straight out of the shoot. "I'm so excited! We're going to have the best time! Guess what we learned this week? (No pause) We learned in group that our woundings are the way we draw closer to God." "That's awesome "M", I said. Without skipping a beat, she asked, "What's the one thing everyone has in common but they never want to talk about?" "I don't know "M", their feelings?" "No Ms.Kim, it's their failures. We all have them, but we pretend like we don't." "You're right "M". I never thought about it that way." She continued with one insightful revelation after the other. Her 15 hours of weekly Christian counseling were paying off in huge dividends, and for the moment, it was all soaking in.
After lots of laughs and a fun stop at Chick-fil-A and Kohl's, we wound our way back through the rainy, 50 mile trek to my house..
"We've got your room all set up downstairs." I could hardly wait. We had a fuzzy purple robe with her initials monogrammed on the left collar, all laid out on the bed and waiting to greet her. As we entered the room, she saw it. "Is this for me? I've never had anything with my initials on it. I love it." She picked it up and stroked it with care.
It was getting late and we were both exhausted. After settling in and visiting with our family, it was lights out...but the storm outside continued to rage.
Around 4 in the morning, the lightening was so intense there was no way to sleep. The noise was like a freight train. Was this a tornado? The house was pelted with hail and shook from a wind like I've never heard. As soon as it came, it left. A loud crack and snap. Did we still have a roof? After a quick inspection, all seemed well.
After only a couple of hours of sleep, I woke up to the smell of sausage, something I NEVER wake up to at my house. Creeping curiously into the kitchen, I found her, wrapped in her new purple robe and washing the last dirty pan. "Ms Kim, I hope I didn't wake you. I got up at 5:00. I just wanted to make you and Mr Jeff and the boys a special breakfast to let you know how grateful I am to be here."
Each plate was filled with smoking sausage, scrambled eggs, 2 pieces of beautifully browned french toast and garnished with a fresh strawberry. WOW! I could get used to this house guest! What a special way to start our Christmas Eve. It was as delicious as it was beautiful.
After breakfast, it was time for daylight to reveal more about that storm. A huge tree lay broken from its trunk in the back yard. From the looks of it, a straight line wind or small tornado came straight across the river and into our back yard. We were the only ones hit, but were thankful it was no worse.
The day could not have gone better as "M" enjoyed a brief visit with her mom and little girl. She got a badly needed hair cut and we came back to my kitchen to prepare Christmas Eve dinner. "M" was a fabulous help and quick learner."I've never made Christmas dinner before Ms Kim. In fact, my family has never had Christmas dinner." "Really M? What did you eat for Christmas at your house?" "Oh, I don't even know. Nothing special. My mom probably made fajitas. We never celebrated holidays."
Our menu: prime rib, potato casserole, roasted brussel sprouts, garlic toast, and homemade chocolate pudding. It was perfect. Everything was in the warmer as we headed to church for Christmas Eve service. "M" loved every song and joined in the worship wholeheartedly. Her nose began to run and her sneezing was constant. I could tell a cold was coming on.
After church and a fabulous dinner together, it was time for a few presents. Her face was red and eyes were watering. I could feel her head was feverish but she didn't dare complain. She bowed her head. "Lord, please heal me and take away this cold." She snuggled down in her new robe. "Let me give you some medicine honey. I want you to feel good on Christmas." I said. After shuffling through the medicine cabinet, I found some Claritin D. "I don't know Ms Kim. We don't take medicine at our rehab house. Will this mess up my drug test?" "No" I quickly said. "This is not a prescription, it's just over the counter." With that, she swallowed it.
Everyone headed for bed so Santa could come. I tucked her in and prayed, "Lord, please heal "M" and give her a great night of rest so she can enjoy Christmas Day. Thank you for allowing her to be with us."
There is something magical about Christmas morning. The joy of celebrating Jesus, anticipation of special gifts, time with family, and everyone's favorite dishes make it impossible not to cherish the time. I would put the breakfast casserole and homemade cinnamon rolls right in the oven, then tackle those dirty dishes from last night so we didn't have to think about them later.
As I walked toward the kitchen in the early morning light, I heard rustling. It was "M" wiping down the counter. My jaw dropped as I saw every dish from the night before cleaned and put in it's place. Spotless. The entire kitchen was spotless. "M" what have you done?!" "Well, I woke up at 3:45" she said. "but I felt like I had been asleep forever! So I just got up and cleaned the kitchen for you. I mean, I don't think the boys really get it and you deserve a break too. I couldn't really buy you a present so...I hope you like it". "M" you are amazing! I'm so sorry you didn't sleep longer but I'm really grateful. A clean kitchen is the BEST Christmas gift."
As all the boys roused, it was time for presents! We had "M" a burlap stocking with red ruffles monogrammed and hanging with our boys' stockings. They were stuffed with Starbucks, candy, beef jerky for the boys and lip gloss for "M". Everyone had a pile of gifts and they each took turns opening. It was just as much fun as I had hoped it would be.
After breakfast, I gave "M" another Claritin D. "The last one really seemed to help." I said. "Maybe this will clear you up for good!"
As quickly as she had come, it was time for her to leave. Cindy was taking "M" to the movies and driving her back to the rehab house since we were headed out of town. I helped her pack and organize some of her new things: a camera, shoes, and a curling iron. She was so grateful and happy.
With a final hug to me, Jeff, and all the boys, she was gone. Little did I know that would be the last time I would see her.
Six hours later, my phone rings. I don't recognize the number and ignore the call. It's Christmas night, we are in the floor at my parent's house in Alabama, laughing and opening gifts. It rang again, so I got concerned. I answered. "Ms Kim, I failed my drug test! They are saying I took drugs but you know I didn't!" "M" calm down. It's ok. Maybe it was the cold medicine?! My sister is a nurse, let me ask her. Don't panic. You're innocent. I will talk to the director." Could Claritin D have caused her to fail the dug test?
After a thorough google search, turns out it can, for up to 72 hours. Surely this will be dismissed as no big deal. I spoke with the lady in charge and explained what happened. "Well Ms Lewis, you signed a piece of paper stating that you would NOT give her over the counter medications." "I did? I mean, I signed something, but it was so chaotic, I couldn't absorb what I read, much less memorize it! I was only trying to help her. She was sick!" "Well", she said, "this could have big consequences for "M." "Please don't." I begged. "She is doing so well. This was not her fault. I take full responsibility!" With that, the conversation was over.
Friday night rolled into Saturday and Sunday. The prayer requests went out to all my friends. "Please pray for my friend "M". Pray that she does not have harsh consequences as the result of the Claritin D I gave her." Monday came and no word. "Lord, please let things go well for her. This is all my fault."
Suddenly, my phone rang. I don't recognize the number but got it anyway. "Ms Kim, I left. They accused me of using drugs and told me that since it happened on your watch, they were taking you off my visitation list!" My head was spinning. "WHAT?! How could they do this to you? We will fix this! Where are you?" It's still pouring rain. "I'm down the street at This N' That" "I will come get you, "M". Don't leave! I will be there in an hour. Do you have all your things?" "Yes, stuffed in garbage bags." "OK "M", listen to me. Let me call your case worker before we do anything. I don't want to rush in and make this worse. She can fix this. I will explain the whole thing and maybe you can go back. Let me call her right now." So I did. She was shocked . She had no idea what had taken place. I asked her to call me back once she called the director in charge. I would wait for her advice before I did anything. So I waited...and waited...and waited.
Two hours passed. It was now 5:30pm. The caseworker called me back but the news was not good. The "rehab rule" is that once you leave, you cannot come back for 30 days. NO EXCEPTIONS. "Are you kidding me?" I asked. "What is she supposed to do?" "Well", her caseworker said, "She is going to have to figure that out." "Well I will come and get her and she can stay with me until we do!"
I called the unknown number back which turned out to be the nice guy who worked at This N' That. She had been borrowing his phone and called "lots of people" according to him. "M", I'm getting in the car. I will be there in 1 hour. Stay put!" A frantic voice responded, "No Ms Kim. I can't bring you into this." "What do you mean? I'm already in this?" "No Ms Kim! Your boys are too good." "What does that have to do with anything "M"?" How I wish I would have known what she was thinking. I had no idea...
"A friend of mine will be here in 20 minutes. I will be fine!" she said. "Listen "M", I'm coming and that's that!" 'No! Please don't! I won't be here!" she said. "Well then you better call me....PROMISE you will call me the minute you get into the car. I want to know who you are with and where you are going! I will pick you up in the morning and we will make a plan." "OK Ms Kim, I promise. I WILL call you."
I was nearly hysterical. How could this have happened? The 5 day storm outside continued to rage...
At 7:00 a call came from yet another unknown number. I snatched it up. "M" are you ok?" "Yes Ms Kim. I'm good. I'm with my friend." "Well let me talk to her. Who is this?" "This is "C". "C who?" I asked. She gave me a name. "Well are you with Out of Darkness ministries? Who are you with?" "No one. I'm just me" she replied. Huge red flag. How far back into her past had M gone? Her life of drugs and prostitution were nothing more than a speck in her rearview mirror. Surely not.
"Well where do you live and where are you taking her?" "I'm going to lose you" she quickly said. "My phone is on 1%. I live in Cartersville at ...." "Are you taking her there? I will meet you TONIGHT and get her." "Well, she wants to just go to her mom's house since it's so late." "Let me talk to her." I said sternly..."M" I will come and get you in the morning from your mom's, ok?" Her mom was toxic for her and we both knew it. "Ok Ms Kim" Then the phone went dead... I tried to call back. No answer.
Wringing my hands with worry, I could hardly settle down for the night. I didn't feel good about this plan at all. By 8:30pm, I begged my husband to help me look for her. We rode by her mom's, no sign of her. We rode by the address she gave me. No sign. The storm outside continued. The rain was so hard we could hardly see out the windows. I would have to just trust she was safe. My stomach was sick with the present and foreboding sense of darkness.
Eager to get her back to safety, I called her mom the next morning. "I'm on my way to get "M". Is she ok?" Her response froze my blood..."I don't know what you're talking about. "M" didn't come here last night. I've not seen her or heard from her."
Panic set in. I called the old number from last night. "Where did you take "M"? She is NOT at her mom's!" "I dropped her off at the door. We were in a cab so we left." More panic. A cab? "M" had no money! Who would've PAID for a cab for her from Cartersville to Dahlonega? And how would she ever pay them back? The potential answers scared me to death.
THINK KIM, THINK. Who could I call. Who could help me? The guy at This N' That. Maybe he knew who she talked to. He would have the numbers in his phone! I called and quickly introduced myself. "Well ma'am, me and my wife have been praying for her. I could tell she was in a bad way. I would be glad to give you the numbers, but I deleted them all. She called so many people, I had to." My heart sank. The pit of my stomach was reeling. "Oh...well can you tell me anything? Anything at all that would help me?" "Yes ma'am. I heard a guy's voice. He sounded real serious and it made me nervous for her." "Well she is in danger. Please tell me anything else you can remember." "Well, I talked to her a long time about the Lord. She was listening real intent. I told her she needed to go with the right people. Before we locked up the store, I told her she could wait under the porch for her ride. She looked and me and said, 'I think I've made a terrible mistake.' That's about all I remember. I've been real worried about her ever since." "Me too, Albert. Thank you for your time. If anyone calls you looking for her, PLEASE give me their number." He promised he would.
The details get crazy from here. Through a sickening confirmation, we knew she was with her old pimp. The one who used to beat her, put her up for sale to the highest bidder on craigslist and backpage, flush her head down the toilet and keep her high on drugs. That one. What was she thinking? How could a dose of Claritin D turn into this? "God please rescue her! How does this happen?" became my constant cry.
The frenzied days and weeks ahead started by sending a message to the evil one she ws with, demanding her safe return. He was spooked for sure. We filed a missing person's report, counseled with Out of Darkness Ministries, and worked with the Drug Task Force, all the while praying like crazy. So many who have a heart for "M" and haven't even met her began praying for her with passion, "Protect her Lord! Bring her back safely."
Three weeks have passed, and no news. After all these months of freedom from darkness, the monster has taken her back. There is a name for this evil...Sex Trafficking. It has been surreal and beyond sobering to think that is she out there on the streets somewhere, being used like a vending machine by predators.
The fight is real. We will not stop looking, praying, searching and hoping for her...but for now...darkness has come.
So what is our response?
Psalm 107:14 "He brought them ouf of darkness, the utter darkness, and broke away their chains."
Isaiah 29:15 "Woe to those (Traffickers) who go to great depths to hide their plans from the Lord, who do their work in darkness and think, 'Who sees us? Who will know?'"
Believe with us for her freedom and that of so many others. Darkness will not have the last word...
Isaiah 49:9 "to say to the captives, 'Come out', and to those in darkness, 'Be Free'!"
